I’ve been heavily at work putting up what I can and have reached as far as the main chapter on medication – analgesia, and the like. It is a long chapter, not just due to the history but due to the subject matter, so has been split into multiple sections.
The pregabalin experiment continues: I’ve switched from 300mg 2pd (twice per day) to 200mg 3pd (which kept me in a more-or-less permanent hazy state in which I injured my foot), then to 100-100-200mg (which ended being ineffective BUT which gave me considerably more acuity). With the 200’s, I’m now wondering if I didn’t fail with my reviews last term due to being on pregabalin.
I’m now on 150mg 3pd as an experiment. I’m not sure they’re working, either, but it may be too early to tell. I’ll keep those interested up to date.
On the kitchen bench, though, things have been going apace….
For a while I’ve been quiet about pain management. One reason is simple: I’ve been largely out of pain! The state of ‘out being in pain’ is addictive, though, such a relief that it dominates the senses by its absence. It’s a beautiful sensation.
It’s worth saying that again: being pain-free is addictive.
But there is a another, more sinister reason for not mentioning pain management: I haven’t been able to. All my focus has had to have been on what I’m doing, what I’m developing because, despite the lack of pain, I’m as incapacitaed as before. I have had to carefully choose what I am doing and when I do it. The focus on the current book and the occasional short story has had to be paramount which has meant a great deal of peripheral writing has had to be put on the shelf.
Why? It’s the side effects of the medication. I’ve been taking Pregabalin, a progression of gabapentin that, theoretically, has less side effects. The intent of the drug is to suppress some nerve impulses to manage peripheral chronic pain (like mine – neurogenic pain rather than ideopathic chronic pain). To be fair, pregabalin has had less side effects than gabapentin. The latter reduced me to what can literally be called a dribbling idiot, a walking zombie who could barely talk, who caromed from wall to wall and door frame to door frame, never made sense and who never know where it was.
It’s no fun being such a zombie.
A few monts ago I wrote a creative non-fiction piece called ‘100’. It covers an individuals search to lose weight given a disability that prevents a lot of exercise. His scales tip 100kg at the start and become his enemy; by the end he has found a way to overcome their arrogant display of three-digit numbers and lose weight.
No, it wasn’t all truth; and yes, it was based on some truth. I found that I gained weight on gabapentin and could not stop the weight gain. Even after coming off it, I lost some but then stalled (yes, okay, at around 100 kg – that bit’s true). I was worried about my health, not only my wardrobe and vanity, but had just got over the last surgery and was beginning to feel pretty good (Pain Management regime permitting). So I worked out a diet that might help me given that I was limited in what exercise I could perform. The diet worked, exercise and pain was managed, but I then suffered a setback due to the side effects of pregabelin.
It’s worth sharing those side-effects, I think.